Dear Senator Collins,
Thank you. I will sleep well tonight. Though I would sleep even better if somebody would shut down President Pumpkinhead's Twitter account. (Time for some aggressive action, General Kelly, don't you think?)
I would also like you to know that you are my hero and my role model and I want to be you when I grow up.
And if you run for president, I will send you money.
Your fan,
Underemployed
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