Monday, December 23, 2019

Exhibit A

Dear Speaker Pelosi,  

Forget all that stuff about Ukraine.  It's too complicated for the Jethrocrats.  Impeach him on the 25th Amendment.  Here's Exhibit A, from The Hill this morning:

I never understood wind,” Trump said. “I know windmills very much, I have studied it better than anybody. I know it is very expensive. They are made in China and Germany mostly, very few made here, almost none, but they are manufactured, tremendous — if you are into this — tremendous fumes and gases are spewing into the atmosphere. You know we have a world, right?”
“So the world is tiny compared to the universe. So tremendous, tremendous amount of fumes and everything. You talk about the carbon footprint, fumes are spewing into the air, right spewing, whether it is China or Germany, is going into the air,” he continued.
“A windmill will kill many bald eagles,” Trump continued. “After a certain number, they make you turn the windmill off, that is true. By the way, they make you turn it off. And yet, if you killed one, they put you in jail. That is OK. But why is it OK for windmills to destroy the bird population?”
Clearly these are the ramblings of a madman.  Or a second grade science class essay.  Whichever.  You got him. 
And this is the only evidence you need.
Your fan,
Underemployed

Thursday, December 5, 2019

Word of the Year

Jethrocracy


Je-throc-ra-cy  n.  government by persons who sound like - and demonstrate the education level of - Jethro Bodine    -je'thro-crat n.


Example: 
"Listening to the impeachment hearings yesterday, I came to the awful conclusion that the United States has become a jethrocracy."

Pass it on.


Random Acts of Genius

When John Bolton becomes the Voice of Reason, you can be sure that space-time has folded in on itself and re-opened in an alternative universe.  There's just no other explanation.

And a note to Stephanie Grisham:  I freely - dare I say happily? - confess to being "totally unequipped to handle the genius of our great President".  In fact, I see it as a healthy sign that my brain still functions, in spite of three years of his random acts of genius.  I'm not a huge fan of John Kelly, but if what you said above really applies to him, I might reconsider.
  
Clearly, you're not so lucky.

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

Just a Thought

Am I the only one thinking that all these gazillions of dollars that politicians raise for campaigns that we neither want nor need could be spent on something useful, like - say - homeless shelters?

Or health care?

Or expanded public transportation?

Or schools?

Or public safety?

Or environmental and climate change issues?

Or, basically, almost anything else rather than political campaigns?

Maybe an idea whose time has come?



Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Friday, January 18, 2019

Individual 1

Dear Individual 1,

I dunno.  If I were Michael Cohen's father-in-law, I would be thinking that you're threatening a witness.  Right out in the open.  On TV, and in writing.

And if I were Robert Mueller, I'd be thinking the same thing.

Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying this.

Keep that genius stable,

Underemployed


Thursday, January 17, 2019

Sophomoric

Dear Lindsey Graham,

sophomoric:
adjective
"pretentious or juvenile"

Sort of like your little stunt during the Kavanaugh confirmation hearing, no?

Judge not, lest ye...etc.,

Underemployed


Let Me Finish

Dear ex-Governor Christie,

I was checking out the news yesterday, wondering what new species of slime Robert Mueller had lately uncovered in his beau geste, and - lo! and behold! 

There you were.

On the SAME DAY that NumbNuts Giuliani dropped the hint that there MIGHT have been some "collusion" with foreign governments conducted by the Trump campaign (but not Trump, never Trump, oh no),  I was treated by excerpts from your new book (for lack of a better word), depicting the wailing and gnashing of teeth over your "friend Donald" (the never-colluding Mr. Trump) being used and led astray by a nefarious gaggle of - what were your subtle sobriquets? - 

"...amateurs, weaklings, grifters, convicted and unconvicted felons..." in the White House.

Shocking.  What's an illegitimately-elected pseudo-President to do?

If only you were there to help him realize his glorious vision of a newly-great America.  One that would give new meaning to the phrase - let me finish - "Soviet Union".

Am I reading that right?

Antipathically yours,

Underemployed