Notes on a UN Meeting

From the desk of Donald J. Trump:

Today's Agenda

1. Meeting at the United Nations (some people are saying the biggest ever).
2. Lunch.
3. (Golf?)
4. Dinner.
5. Bedtime (ask General Kelly if I can watch TV first).

Notes to self:

1. Start UN meeting by talking about my dick.
2. Not my real dick (too small, illegal),
3. But the building across the street (TRUMP WORLD TOWER),
4. Which is very BIG, really.  Huge.  Tremendous.
5. Say some stuff about reform.
6. Tell them about how I'm going to make the United Nations great.
7. Like I'm making America Great Again!
8. Give examples.
9. Like...?
10. Hmmm...
11. Maybe...?
12. Or...
13. (Ask Mike Pence for examples.)
14. Or just be vague (easy).
15. Or lie (usually works).

Some HBCU people might drop by the White House.  Tell Kellyanne to keep her feet off the furniture.