Dear Mr. Trump,
Sometimes it's hard to know what - or if - you're thinking.
I'm not sure you understand this, but everything you've ever said or done in the (far too many) years since your first speaking part in The Great American Nightmare belies your persistent (and pathetic) claims to intelligence, civility, education, a high IQ (it only seems high when you can't count up to 100), negotiating skills, and patriotism.
I mean, c'mon:
- You're in an ongoing public feud with the pregnant widow of a serviceman who was found killed,
- After being missing for two days,
- On your watch?
- For which you offered little explanation, took little responsibility, and expressed little sympathy.
- Seriously? Good job, Commander-in-Chief.
- You trot out a four-star general to fight the mean girls for you.
- And we are told that it would be "highly inappropriate" to "get into a debate" with a "four-star Marine general".
- Even though the Marine general was lying through his teeth, and had gone above-and-beyond whatever call of duty he thought he was answering to defame and insult an innocent-as-charged public official.
- Whereby the general's credibility tanked.
- So now you're going to need a new general. Mattis? Maybe. But people are starting to remember Vietnam.
- Sarah Huckabee Sanders.
- Who apparently was absent from Sunday school on the day they taught the Ten Commandments. (Thank you, Sarah. It's also "highly inappropriate" to "lie".)
- As far as I can see, there is nothing beneath this woman.
- And she wears WAY too much eye makeup. Why, for the love of God? Perhaps an attempt to distract from all the snarly stuff going on beneath the nose? (Not working.)
- Whatever. It's creepy. Liz Taylor reincarnated as a bulldog.
- If I had a person hanging around me who called his wife "Mother", and who wouldn't dine with women alone or be in a room with females where alcohol was being served without "Mother" by his side, and who publicly declared (in all seriousness) that it was the "greatest privilege" of his life (take that, Mother!) to serve me, I would get a restraining order. And a food taster. Just sayin'.
- A person who paints himself orange, and wears a tie that goes down to his knees, should not be calling a woman who wears a cowboy hat "wacky".
- Never mind that you support a Senate candidate who also wears a cowboy hat, and packs a pistol, and rides a horse, just to go vote. In Alabama, no less, a place not usually associated with cowboys.
- It's equally ludicrous to hear you cry, "No leadership in the NFL!" That you fail to see the irony in this statement is more proof that your dad probably paid big bucks for your IQ test.
- AND your goofball son is accusing someone (Hillary Clinton) of "arrogance and entitlement" (on Twitter, on her birthday). That boy really needs a mirror. And a chin.
While I'm at it:
- A real nutjob
- Sound familiar? This is the way you talk about people. And you think that the press portrays you as "more uncivil" than you actually are? Were you raised by wolves?
- Not coincidentally, the above epithets are apt descriptions of you.
For the record:
- An Ivy League school will generally give a degree to anyone who gives them enough money.
- An intelligent person doesn't need to tell people that they're intelligent.
- Steve Bannon is a mean, stupid drunk.
And I still want to see your tax returns.
Feeling better now,