Dear Mr. Trump,
Every time I think that life under your inspired leadership can't get any weirder, it does. Especially curious, and often disturbingly so, is your circle of confidants. A few of them would probably pass a psych eval, but I'm pretty sure that if I had to spend five minutes in a room with Mike Pence, Jeff Sessions, Steve Bannon, Steve Miller, and/or Kellyanne Conway, I could probably be persuaded to buy a one-way ticket to Mars.
I will now add Roger Stone to the list, the latest lunatic to emerge from your ever-increasing shadows. I just can't keep up with all of these people, try as I might. Much as I wish I didn't have to.
So, yeah, Roger. Actually he's been on and off the scene for some time now. A very snappy dresser, I'm told. Doesn't wear socks, which disturbed Nancy Reagan, but hey! Einstein didn't wear socks either. That's not enough to put him on my "whoa! wtf?" list.
But this stuff is:
- He talks to you more often than I talk to my children.
- He exchanges tweets with Russian hackers.
- He once said, "One man's dirty trick is another man's civic participation."
- He thinks that someone is trying to bump him off,
- Because he thinks he was the victim of polonium 210 poisoning,
- And then - yesterday - an attempt at vehicular homicide.
- Because...why?
- And...by who? The Russians? You?
- To quote Ted Cruz (God help me, I'm quoting Ted Cruz): "He's a man for whom a term was coined for copulating with a rodent."
- But the best reason - and I saw a picture of this, which may finally drive me into therapy - he has a picture of Richard Nixon tattooed on his back.
I think I'm done. Good Lord, I hope so. As I've said before, as soon as you start acting goofy, and I believe your "wiretapping" accusations qualify as goofy, one should check out what else is happening in your arena.
(By the way, you didn't use quotation marks in all of those tweets. Go back and check.)
And if you see Rachel Maddow, tell her to calm down.
Very truly yours,
Underemployed
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