Dear Chancellor Merkel,
Please allow me to apologize for the lack of civility afforded you by our (questionably) elected-leader.
I'm sure you were bewildered, as were we all, but after conducting a little research, I have managed to make some sense of the whole fiasco:
- You were supposed to come on a Monday.
- Unfortunately, there was a big snowstorm.
- So you rescheduled your visit.
- And came on a Friday instead.
- Delaying Mr. Trump's departure to Mar-A-Lago.
So he was a little cranky. He gets like that if he's away from Mar-a-Lago for too long, the reasons for which are still open to speculation.
It was more than a little uncomfortable for you, coming all that way and being treated like a Venezuelan beauty pageant winner. Still, you were a lady and a scholar, and my admiration for you knows no bounds.
And please don't worry about the bill. I understand the Freedom Caucus is planning to take care of it.