Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Dear Mr. Trump

Dear Mr. Trump,

Per your tweet of this morning:

"Just reported that, despite the tremendous success we are having with the economy and all things else, 91% of the Network News about me is negative (Fake)."

Fancy that.

Though most people would probably dismiss the above statement as being impulsive drivel, it gave me pause for reflection, and I would like to make the following observations:
  1. You watched Fox and Friends this morning.
  2. Only 91%?
  3. This is a frightening attempt at an Orwellian mind-fuck. 
  4. The words "negative" and "fake" are not synonyms.  If you do not know this, then you need a dictionary and/or another sit-down with Ronny Jackson and the Montreal Cognitive Assessment.
  5. The words "network news" and "fake" do not require capitalization in this context.  (Just saying.)
In the aforementioned tweet, you floated the idea of taking away press credentials from members of the press that you don't like.  You appear to mean this as a threat, relegating them to some sort of Press Purgatory where they will languish, enduring the pain of longing for the Beatific Vision.  (Which would be you, I guess.*)

Personally, I think that all responsible members of the press should voluntarily turn in their press credentials. 

And get their reporting from Michael Avenatti.

Speaking freely,

Underemployed

*For further information, please see Father Patrick J. Conroy, Chaplain for the House of Representatives.  BTW, can somebody please explain to me why the United States (remember: not a theocracy) House of Representatives has a chaplain?



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