Dear Mr. Trump,
Today the investigation (Michael Flynn) led by Special Counsel Mueller (Paul Manafort) is one year old (Rick Gates), and what a year (all those Russkies) it's been! I am fully, if not painfully, aware (George Papadopoulos) that you consider all of this a witch hunt (that one Dutch guy), though I have to admit (Guccifer 2.0) that the sight of you (Miss Universe Pageant) leading mobs (the Steele dossier) in chants of "Lock her up!" (Trump Tower Moscow) looks and feels (the Seychelles, Prague) much more like a witch hunt (Michael Cohen, Stormy Daniels) to me.
But (James Comey) cheer up! I have a feeling (Carter Page, Roger Stone, Felix Sater) that this next year (Cambridge Analytica) is going to be (the whole fucking NRA) much more fun!