a lot of people
nobody, a few hillbillies maybe
alternative fact
a lie
amazing
something shiny
-B-
base
nobody in their right mind
believe me
I'm lying
big
good
bigly
big league, just like me
billions of dollars pouring into NATO
a lie
-C-
chemistry
something I think exists when somebody isn't straight-up laughing at me
classy
tacky
collusion
something everybody knows I didn't do (see "crowd size", "fake news")
consensual
my presidency, and every pussy-grabbing moment of my life
covfefe
a secret word, revealed to me by the voices, understood only by the inhabitants of my home planet
creepy
Anthony Scaramucci
criminals
Mexicans, Hillary Clinton, people who do bad things but who are not related to me
crooked
Hillary Clinton (see "women")
crowd size
the measure of all things, directly proportional to my insecurities about being illegally elected, and - by extension - my dick
-D-
deal
something done by my lawyers, but that I take credit for
-E-
elevate
to justify loathsome and/or stupid behavior, when the real reasons are just too horrible to contemplate
enormously consensual
in case there was any doubt
everyone
nobody
everyone knows
nobody believes it for a minute
everyone lies
not to the FBI they don't
extreme vetting
a process that should be required for Mexicans and Muslims trying to come to the U.S., except seasonal employees of Trump properties
-F-
failing, failed
people who don't like me
fair
anything that lets me win
fake news
anything I don't like
fantastic
meh
-G-
global warming
Chinese fake news
good boy
my son, Don Jr., who is almost 40, and didn't really mean to cut off that elephant's tail
good man
someone about to be kicked to the curb
-H-
hands
the historically large appendages attached to my wrists
health care
something that proves that Barack Obama is way smarter than I am
historic
me, everything about me, everything I do
history
self-serving shit I just make up
-I-
I heard somewhere
Steve Bannon planted it in a tabloid somewhere and now I'm repeating it
incredible
meh
infinity
someplace astronauts go, out there...maybe...could be...
-L-
lack of clarity
lying
leak, leaker
the truth, somebody who tells the truth
loser
someone who knows I'm lying
love
money
loyalty
something I value because I'm counting on it to keep me out of jail
-M-
made in America
a lie
mere allegation
contemporaneous police reports + FBI testimony, under oath + photographs
Mexicans
bad hombres who should stay on the other side of a big, big wall that they're going to pay for
Mike Pence
the reason I haven't been impeached
modern day presidential
having opposable thumbs
-N-
NAFTA
foreigners who cheat us out of money
NATO
foreigners who cheat us out of money
-O-
obstructionist
anyone who thinks I'm lying
others of different militant perspectives
1. people who object to white-supremacists and neo-Nazis;
2. people who read books,
3. people who can count by fives all the way to a hundred;
4. Democrats;
5. and anybody else who didn't vote for me.
-R-
really well
like shit
relationship
a one-way figment of my imagination
rigged
anything I don't win
-S-
sad
people who don't believe me when I'm lying
shithole
alternate spelling of "shithouse"
spin, n.
a lie
spin, v.
to lie
-T-
talented
people who believe me when I'm lying
tax reform
a lie
team
minions
the president
me (see "crowd size")
too good
a hot mess
tough
something that requires effort
Trans-Pacific Partnership
foreigners who cheat us out of money
transparency
lying, but acting like I'm not lying
tremendous
meh
the modern day presidential way of saying something stupid
truthful hyperbole
a lie
-U-
unpresidented
(we wish...)
-V-
very fake news
the truth
very good relationship
occasionally might talk to me, briefly, if we're in a group
voter fraud by millions of illegal immigrants
a lie
-W-
witch hunt
fake news about me and the Russians (some of whom are very nice people, by the way) that nobody cares about (except the New York Times - see "failing") and that I'm gonna put a stop to soon (see "creepy")
women
aliens, sometimes nasty
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