Last Night in Germany...

(ring ring)

"Hallo?"

"Is this The Best Hotel in Hamburg?"

"Ja!"

"Do you have any rooms available?"

"Nein."

"Look, I need a room for The Leader of the Free World."

"Oh.  For Frau Merkel?  In that case, Ja!"

"No.  For Donald Trump."

"Oh.  In that case, double-Nein."

"Listen, you jelly doughnut, we are important Americans..."

"Ach!  All Americans are important.  They say."

"And we have a meeting to attend..."

"Ach!  I am aware.  Can you hear the rioting where you are?"

"So will you make a room available for us for the next three days?"

"Nein."

"Well, what would you suggest we do?"

"That, I cannot say without International Incident.  Perhaps you have an aircraft carrier in the North Sea...?"

"Can you imagine the President's Wife sleeping on an aircraft carrier?!"

"As well as I can imagine her sleeping in Das White Haus."

"You are an insolent Hun, and I am going to report this to your Chancellor!"

"Und she will buy me a nice bier, ja?  Maybe Zwei!"