Dear Mr. Trump,
A few words about your self-appellation:
- Just so you know, the year is 2017.
- If by "modern" you mean that you have demonstrated that you have opposable thumbs...well, um...okay.
- Presidential? With that tie?
And judging from that video, you'd be well advised not to quit your day gig. Though in the (hopefully) near future, you might not have a choice.