Donald Trump calling James Comey a "showboat" and a "grandstander" is like:
____________ calling ____________ a "____________" and a "____________".
I've been trying for two whole days. With a thesaurus. And all I can think is, "Well, that's the pot calling the kettle black!" Which means I'm in some sort of shock, or there just are no words.
You give it a go. It's Saturday. Buy a bottle of Stoli. Invite some friends over. See what you come up with. The best entry will receive a certified letter from my lawyer saying that I don't have any business dealings with Russians, suitable for framing.
Better make that a bottle of Jack.