Dear Mr. Trump,
My Creep-o-Meter is going off.
For some time now, I've been wondering why a senator from Kentucky would:
- be mugged by his own neighbor.
- suddenly become such a fervid devotee of the Orange Party.
- feel the need to visit Russia.
- perm his hair.
And I'm not coming up with anything that makes sense here.
Now I find out that Senator Paul had the "honor" of delivering a letter from you to Vladimir Putin. (Note to Senator Paul: Talk like an American.) Which immediately conjured up visions of 5th grade and getting a friend to pass a note to your boy crush.
And the juxtaposition is definitely creepy.
Since I can't imagine you as the author of any sort of a coherent letter, I am going to speculate that this "letter" was perhaps simply a list of names of people you would like to see win the mid-term elections. For now, I'm going with that as a working hypothesis, until I get a plausible explanation.
Bafflingly yours,
Underemployed
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