Sunday, August 19, 2018

Dear Michael Avenatti

Dear Mr. Avenatti,

St. Anthony heard my prayers and now you're running for President!  

I don't even care if you win or lose.  I just want to watch you on TV.  And don't go getting all reasonable and middle-of-the-road on me.  We have enough of those jadrools already.  Just give me some full-on, St. Louis Italian, and let the games begin.

I've been thinking about offering you my daughter Nicola's hand in marriage, you being without a wife at the moment.  But I'm going to wait and see how this plays out.  I really can't picture her as First Lady, unless you're okay with her sleeping in all morning and wearing flats.  But she's beautiful (like a Botticelli!), and makes sauce.  So things don't work out, keep it in mind.

In bocca al lupo.

Your fan,

Connie Staccato

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