Thursday, July 19, 2018

The Long Walk Back

Dear Mr. Trump,

In reference to your press conference with Vladimir Putin:

Aside from the outrage and skepticism of everybody with a functioning cerebral cortex, I think you might have emerged the winner in the "would/wouldn't" controversy of late.  I mean, when the laughter subsided, we all just moved on to the next catastrophe, right?

Which brings me to my point.

"An incredible idea!" you said.  (Twice, by my count.)  And it's on video which makes it harder to blame the "fake news" (though that didn't deter you when it came to your Theresa May comments).

You were referring to Putin's generous offer to allow Special Counsel Mueller access to interviews with the indicted Russian hackers.  In exchange for allowing Russia to question certain American citizens "of interest" to them.

I don't think that's gonna fly.

I'm guessing even YOU won't be able to sell this idea.  So you'll have to walk it back:  What did you really mean?  What did you really say?  What did you really mean to say?

And I have some suggestions.

Instead of "incredible", you meant to say:
  1. "indelible"
  2. "inedible"
  3. "ineffable"
  4. "insensible"
  5. "illegible"
  6. "illiberal"
  7. "intangible"
  8. "impeccable"
  9. "umbilical"
  10. "hilarious"
None of this makes sense, of course, which you would realize if you could read.  (How about "impeachable"?  That would make sense.)

But people are used to that.  I can imagine the august members of your "base" nodding sagely and saying, "See?  He just misspoke."


Unfathomably yours,


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