Monday, March 5, 2018

Dear Mr. Trump

Dear Mr. Trump,

Tell me something:  Why haven't you given Barack Obama his very own Trump nickname?

I mean, we have Crooked Hillary, Lyin' Ted, Cryin' Chuck, Sloppy Steve, Sneaky Diane, Mr. Magoo, Pocahontas, Dicky, Low Energy Jeb, Psycho Joe, Crazy Bernie, Crazy Megyn, Crazy Jim, Low I.Q. Crazy Mika, Liddle Bob, Little Adam, Little Marco, and Little Rocket Man.  We even have a Dodgy Dossier.

(The "crazies" outnumber the "littles", which outnumber the rest, and I'm sure a shrink would have a field day with that.)

But nothing for Barack?  No questioning of sanity?  Nothing about his physical appearance that you find noteworthy?

Maybe I can help.  I think it should be alliterative.  How about:
  1. Bumbling Barack
  2. Boring Barack
  3. Baleful Barack
  4. Bad Vibes Barack
  5. Boisterous Barack
  6. Bonkers Barack
  7. Banal Barack
  8. Born in Kenya, Probably a Muslim Barack
  9. Blatherin' Barack
  10. Bouncy Barack
For the record, none of these are true, but that doesn't seem to be a factor in your choice of appellations. 

If nothing else, the debut of a Trump nickname for Mr. Obama will draw some attention away from the fact that Mr. Mueller and his grand jury have recently subpoenaed all of your (and your best friends') documents going back to 2015.  

And isn't that the point?

In anticipation,


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