Dear Mr. Trump,
I am touched, moved, and - dare I say? - overwhelmed at the sacrifice you made NOT TO PLAY GOLF TODAY in order to honor the victims of the latest American school shooting.
I understand how much golf means to you (at least I'm trying to). And I also understand how important it was to notify someone in the media (Bloomberg, because nobody else was answering the phone) of your momentous renunciation, given all the fake news out there that continues to portray you as a mentally-challenged sociopath.
And I almost feel sorry for the "White House aide" who had to call Bloomberg with this earth-shattering news. Who almost certainly had to end the call with something like, "That's my job, asshole."
But, hey! you've done your part. And tomorrow is Sunday, and there's no rain in the forecast.
So hang in there.