Monday, January 22, 2018

Dear Paul Ryan

Dear Speaker Ryan,

Why you sneaky little cheesehead you!

Just a few days after the Rich Bastards' Piggy Bank Tax Bill was passed, with your indispensable help, the Koch family dropped half-a-million dollars on "Team Ryan" (I shudder to think), your personal war chest.  And five other billionaires apparently thought they should pitch in to match the funds.

Tell me you did not see this coming.

In a way I'm relieved, because I finally have a plausible explanation for the bovine-animal look you get on your face every time you're in Trump's orbit, which I previously attributed to you sipping out of the Diet Coke that contains his meds.

Since you have said that you are not running again when your term is up, allow me a few questions:
  1. You didn't specify which office you weren't running for again.  Does that mean you think the American people are brain dead enough to elect you president?  (In that case, you might want to wipe that mooncow grin off your face.)
  2. If you really intend to retire and write sonnets in the idyllic wilderness of Wisconsin, who might be the ultimate recipient of this million-dollar largesse?
True, many Americans (with the help of their Russian friends) were brain dead enough to vote for Trump, so a presidential run might look like a cakewalk to you.  And a million bucks can go a long way.  

But I think our memories might have gotten a little longer since then.

Just saying,


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