The Donald Trump Phrasebook and Dictionary (see previous post) has been amended to include the following entry:
"others of different militant perspectives
1. people who object to white-supremacists and neo-Nazis;
2. people who read books;
3. people who can count by fives all the way to a hundred;
5. and anybody else who didn't vote for Donald Trump."
Thank you, Mike Pence, for your contribution to my humble lexicon.
For the record:
- You look like you're made out of PVC and would get slimy in the rain.
- You talk like someone in the throes of an LSD flashback.
- Your wife is quite right about not letting you drink when you're out of her sight.
I'll bet you spend hours watching your Big Orange Daddy in the White house (looking as vapid as possible, so as not to alarm him), whilst spinning fantasies about him having to seek political asylum amongst the Uzbeks.
And thinking about how thrilled Americans would be to have you as their president.
You're wrong about that. Many Americans have carefully checked the line of succession and - God help them - are trying to figure out how to get to Orrin Hatch.
BTW, Indiana doesn't miss you. One bit.