Dear Mr. Trump,
Tell me you did NOT schedule the Governors Ball on the same night as the Oscars! I can't believe my eyes, my ears, and the fake news! What possessed you? (Let me guess: Steve Bannon.)
I knew you were a bully. That's part of what some people (mainly those who need to repeat high school) consider to be your charm. Sure escapes me, but then I am neither pathetically gullible nor pathologically masochistic. (I love you for other reasons, like you're writing my next book for me.)
But this brings bullying into a whole new (Oscar award winning?) category: Entertainment Bullying.
You tweeted that 46 governors attended. "A record number", you said, and since I have no way of fact-checking that, I will assume it's about as accurate as your crowd-size estimates. I will also assume that these governors attended with their spouses. And I will further assume that the following conversations took place in many-a-governor's home:
"Honey, we have to go to the president's Governors Ball."
"I'd rather have chemo."
"It's on the same night as the Oscars."
"Are you fucking kidding me?"
"We can dance the night away with the whole Trump family."
"I'm calling a lawyer."
Sucks to be a governor these days.
Actually, sucks to be anyone.
Looking forward to your congressional address,