Dear Ivanka

Dear Ivanka,

I'm sure by now you're asking yourself, "What's a girl gotta do to get a little 'us' time with her husband, without upsetting the entire free world?"

Don't you fret, honey.  Even though "us" time for me and my husband tends to center around doing laundry, this underemployed household would like to thank you for making us believe in princesses.  (Jared's hand on your ass was just the whimsical touch needed to keep it real.  I'm sure he got a wink and a slap-on-the-back from Daddy Warbucks for that one!)

I hear there are some spoil sports out there who are boycotting your fashion line.  No offense, Vanks, but you're making it a little too easy for them.  I mean, you're not selling anything really distinctive, are you?  In truth, a die-hard Ivanka Trump fan could switch over to Calvin Klein (or Ralph Lauren, Vince Camuto, Michael Kors, etc., etc.) without skipping a beat.

But I'm not the type to point out a problem without offering a solution, and here it is:  How about bringing out a line of clothes for nuclear winter?  I'm pretty sure you'd corner that particular market.  And market there will be, if I'm reading the stars right.

Think about it.  From this:

 

To this:

 

I'm sure you could do better.  Some bold accessories?  Perhaps a sequin or two?

Saving my pennies,

Underemployed