Dear Mr. Trump,
Those naughty Ruskies! Missiles, spy ships, and goodness knows what else? Maybe they could get to Ivanka or Melania with some "fake fashion news"?
Maybe they already have.
Well, at any rate, this is it. Your moment. All eyes on you. ACT TOUGH! I'm sure everyone will be enormously impressed.
I hear you're taking time off from the maelstrom in the White House to kick off your 2020 re-election campaign in Florida on Saturday. Here's some advice:
- Take off your shirt!
- Wrestle an alligator!
- Show the world that you're not just some big, puffy, whiny, orange baby. Alligators (Trump?) are tremendously tougher than tigers (Putin, and he had a gun). This could be a big "win" for you.
Knock 'em dead,