Dear Paul Ryan

Dear Congressman Ryan,

No, your car was not "eaten by animals."

Your car was eaten by me, my friend Jan, and thousands of angry, rabid Wisconsin voters.  With our bare teeth.  And we're still hungry.

My advice:  Don't buy a Lamborghini.

You've been warned,

Underemployed

The Big Reveal

Three things more interesting than Donald Trump's Big Reveal on Monday night:

1. The Thai children trapped in the cave.
2. The immigrant children trapped in the United States.
3. George Clooney's pelvis.

I admit that I wondered - briefly - if Trump would use his "Mussolini" face or his "I'm a big boy now!" face for the occasion.  Mercifully, the curiosity was not overwhelming enough to inspire me to turn on the television.

So I guess I'll never know.

It's Perfectly Simple

1. Google Donald Trump.
2. Google Robert Mueller.
3. Read their biographies.

Enough said.

Dear State Senator Steve Fitzgerald

Dear State Senator Fitzgerald,

"Outside of Western civilization, there is only barbarism."

You can say this?  With that beard???

Woof,

Underemployed

Nursery Rhyme

Pussy Grab, Pussy Grab, where have you been?

I've been to London to visit the queen.

Pussy Grab, Pussy Grab, what did you there?

I saw a big Trump Baby up in the air!

Dear Sadiq Khan

Dear Mayor Khan,

Thank you.  We'll be watching.

Your cousin across the pond,

The United States

The Next President

Judging from the depth of my revulsion whilst reading excerpts from Scott Pruitt's resignation letter today, I predict that the next president of the United States will be the first Republican who says to Donald Trump,  "Fuck you. You're an asshole."  Children of Trump excepted.  I hope.

I can't be the only person thinking this.