Dear Donald

Dear Donald,

So just like that?  There's someone else?  That little fuck can't even shoot a tiger.

Excuse me, I have to go.  JUSTIN TRUDEAU is on the other line.

So over it,

Vladimir

The Fourth Deadly Sin

Justin Trudeau is the new Barack Obama.

Dear Mr. Trump

Dear Mr. Trump,

Betrayed!  By a (younger than you) back-stabbing (better looking than you) Canadian (and way smarter).  Brownie points to Peter Navarro (a blithering idiot) for pointing out (lickspittle) that there is a special place in hell (next to the one we're in right now) for those who double-cross (infamia!) you (and, by extension, God, I guess).

Hang in there (Putin's got your back).  And trust your instincts (because you sure can't trust your brain).

Inconceivably yours,

Underemployed

Dear Mr. Trump

Dear Mr. Trump,

Dude.  Treaty of Ghent.  Get over it.

Historically yours,

Underemployed