Dear Paul Manafort

Dear Mr. Manafort,

You do realize that if it weren't for leaks, we wouldn't get any news at all.

Just saying,

Underemployed

Just So You Know

The "leaks" are coming from the Grand Poobah himself: 

Donald J. Trump

This speculation is "largely based on an accumulation of data".  Namely, since this guy has been on my radar, I've never known him to be able to keep his big mouth shut.

And I'll bet he's loving every minute of it.

Found the Leak!

Dear Mr. Trump,

Maybe you'd better sit down for this.

It's your homeboy Steve Bannon!  I didn't so much "find" it as figured it out.  

Why, you may ask yourself, would my BFF Stevie be leaking all this terrible (fake?) news about me?  Well, you pride yourself on being a simple man (so true!), and in keeping with that, the answer is also simple.

This is how it works:

1. Mr. Bannon leaks something awful about you to the (very dishonest) press.
2. Then you go all bat-shit crazy and say something - how should I put this? - stupid.
3. And while everybody is laughing and/or being terrified...
4. ...Mr. Bannon quietly does something to further his doomsday agenda,
5. Which nobody notices.

Personally, whenever you start acting...hmmmm...questionably, I google Steve Bannon.  

Try it!  It works.  

That guy should be doing shell games on the subway.  Missed his calling.

On the ball,

Underemployed