Saturday, February 17, 2018

Dear Robert Mueller

Dear Mr. Mueller,

What's your mailing address?  I wanna send you a calzone!

Your fan,

Connie Staccato
Special Correspondent
(and a really good cook)

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Today's Menu

How do you want your White House?
  • Over easy
  • Demilitarized
  • Like a kindergarten class with the teacher out of the room
  • Racist, sexist, misogynist, homophobic, gun-lovin', God-fearin' Christian
  • Russkiy
  • Glutton-free
And would you like a drink before the war?

Dear Scott Pruit

Dear Mr. Pruitt,

Try not being a dick and maybe people in coach class won't be so mean to you.

Just a thought,


P.S.  I admit to being surprised that the people in first class treat you any better.

Dear Ted Cruz

Dear Ted Cruz,

Shut up.

Thank you,


Sunday, February 11, 2018

Some More Math

contemporaneous police reports + FBI testimony, under oath + photographs  ≠  "mere allegations"

Dear Mr. Pence

Dear Mr. Pence,

Apparently, there's no daylight except what's in your tiny little mind.  And don't confuse daylight with the warm, orange glow radiating from the spray tans in the Oval Office.

And if you ever wondered as to your purpose in life, it is to play the role of the dweeby little brother who everybody wishes would just go home.

Best to Mother,