Regarding my previous post ("Dear Mr. Pence"), I need a reality check.
All of the people in that photograph are men.
And elected officials.
And highly educated (in theory),
And, on average, at least 50% of their constituents are women,
Who (also, in theory), vote...
...you expect me to believe that not one of those guys looked around that room and was prompted to say, "Dudes, I'm pretty sure none of us know what the fuck we're talking about."
It's not that I just disagree. It's that I cannot, for the life of me, imagine the kind of mental processes going on in your quasi-Christianity-addled cranium. When I try to imagine them, all I come up with are alien life forms. And the Salem witch trials.
And now your puffy orange boss is threatening to take his toys and go home. Tell the truck drivers to be sure to lock the doors and take their keys.
"My colleagues have generally been coming by and patting me on the back. And a surprising number have said that they pray for me. And, meaning they support me and they agree with me, a surprising number."
Every time I think that life under your inspired leadership can't get any weirder, it does. Especially curious, and often disturbingly so, is your circle of confidants. A few of them would probably pass a psych eval, but I'm pretty sure that if I had to spend five minutes in a room with Mike Pence, Jeff Sessions, Steve Bannon, Steve Miller, and/or Kellyanne Conway, I could probably be persuaded to buy a one-way ticket to Mars.
I will now add Roger Stone to the list, the latest lunatic to emerge from your ever-increasing shadows. I just can't keep up with all of these people, try as I might. Much as I wish I didn't have to.
So, yeah, Roger. Actually he's been on and off the scene for some time now. A very snappy dresser, I'm told. Doesn't wear socks, which disturbed Nancy Reagan, but hey! Einstein didn't wear socks either. That's not enough to put him on my "whoa! wtf?" list.
But this stuff is:
He talks to you more often than I talk to my children.
He exchanges tweets with Russian hackers.
He once said, "One man's dirty trick is another man's civic participation."
He thinks that someone is trying to bump him off,
Because he thinks he was the victim of polonium 210 poisoning,
And then - yesterday - an attempt at vehicular homicide.
But the best reason - and I saw a picture of this, which may finally drive me into therapy - he has a picture of Richard Nixon tattooed on his back.
I think I'm done. Good Lord, I hope so. As I've said before, as soon as you start acting goofy, and I believe your "wiretapping" accusations qualify as goofy, one should check out what else is happening in your arena.
(By the way, you didn't use quotation marks in all of those tweets. Go back and check.)
And if you see Rachel Maddow, tell her to calm down.
I get it! It's not Obama you want to vilify; it's the FBI! (Thank you, Mr. Comey, for clearing that up.)
So, I'm guessing that the FBI is going to have some very interesting information for us, very soon. Which, of course, will be suspect information (of course) because the FBI are Nazis, Nixons, McCarthyists, and don't like kittens. And then there's the fake news (i.e, news not published by Breitbart), dishonest media, bad-sport Democrats, etc., etc...
Another crazy week! Who could blame you for escaping to Mar-a-Lago for a little relaxation and a Twitter tantrum accusing a former president of illegal abuse of power? It's a credit to your wisdom and cool head that you were able to move on so quickly to insult Arnold Schwarzenegger (dude, he's hotter than you, facelift and all, just sayin') and then play a few holes of golf.
Wiretapping! No way! "Way!" you say, and I am dying to see how this plays out, but your pet Spicey says there won't be another word about it until a proper investigation is conducted or you get your smartphone out of lockdown, whichever comes first.
I admit to being a bit skeptical about the wiretapping. Permission to do a wiretap is hard to get, even if you're the president. I believe that an FBI (not your favorite people) agent has to show a federal judge (notorious blockheads, as you well know) probable cause that the targeted wiretap-ee is an agent of a foreign power, and...well...um...hmmm...
Let's skip that.
The issue is definitely something bright and shiny, and distracting from Jeff Sessions' woes. Maybe that's what it's all about; you just being a true-blue friend. I think he might have some more problems coming his way, though. Someone just might be inspired to look into Mr. Sessions' connections with the private prison industry. Which is currently being accused of using slave labor. Which some people might view as - to use the vernacular - right up his alley.
Never a dull moment! I'll say this for you, Mr. Trump: