Saturday, August 12, 2017

Dear Mr. Trump

Dear Mr. Trump,

I'm feeling sucker punched.  Again.

It appears that Rex Tillerson and Nikki Haley have convinced you that your wrestling match with North Korea isn't playing well with a whole lot of people, and now you're bored, and you're figuring that maybe you can just dump the whole fiasco on Sweden or China or someone, and move on.

Well, all I can say is that was a half-a-bottle of whiskey wasted.

Probably, Mr. Tillerson and Ms. Haley - after assuring you that they love you to pieces - also pointed out that the rest of the world just considers you to be America's very own little Kim Jong Un.  A pain in the ass.  But with a shorter attention span.

Not easy to find a dog to wag these days.

However, with various investigative agencies knocking on your golf club's door, you'd better come up with something.

Fast.

And like a gift from heaven, that rascal Maduro in Venezuela has started acting up.  I'm guessing that most of people in the United States, being as clueless as a Nevada parole board about anything that goes on in South America, give a damn if you bomb Venezuela.

What's not to love?  Venezuela won't fight back.  And there's lots of cheap oil to be had, you get to play with your new toys, and you'll finally WIN something.  Maybe you could send Donald Jr. there to be president for a while.  Just 'til the heat dies down.

With Venezuela you can thump your chest as much as you want, causing paroxysms of patriotism amongst your not-too-bright base and another bump in your approval ratings, though I'm sure that your professed feelings of compassion for the people of Venezuela are as genuine as your cartoon machismo. 

I'm also sure that, up until yesterday, you wouldn't be able to pick out Venezuela on a map, given a pop quiz.

Exasperatedly yours,

Underemployed





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