Friday, August 18, 2017

Dear Mr. Bannon

Dear Mr. Bannon,

Please allow me a few moments of your attention before you drink yourself into your nightly stupor.

I hear that you really weren't fired today.  Which I don't doubt for a minute.  You left voluntarily, and who can blame you?  With the White House starting to resemble the set of Dr. Strangelove, just how effective could you be?  Now you are free to wage your "war" without that pesky Constitution to worry about.

Regretfully, your choice of words could be construed as throwing gasoline on the national fire, but that's in keeping with the grand plan, I guess.  It will be interesting to see the results of your fiery journalism while waiting in checkout lines at Walgreens.  (With an eye to their customers' continued good appetites, my grocery store chooses not to sell The Enquirer.)

I have a bit of advice for you in regards to your new/old job at Breitbart.

Though I'm sure you and Mr. Trump are gleefully cooking up all sorts of nasty surprises for those you perceive to be your enemies (quite a list, I'm sure), you guys are apparently missing a very important point.  The reality is that you are SO far gone many people would consider it a fucking badge of honor to be defamed in one of your...um..."news" stories.

In fact, if you really wanted to "crush" some hapless member of the "opposition", all you would have to do is casually mention that he or she is a friend of yours.

How easy is that?

Now, back to your double Maker's Mark.  On the bright side, you can day drink again.

Bon voyage,

Underemployed

P.S.  Do you think you could take Lurch with you?  



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