I am so sorry.
With all the crazy things going on in my life accelerating what I have come to accept as a predisposition to senility, it completely slipped my mind to make fun of the Sochi Olympics.
A serious oversight. The Sochi Winter Olympics, if for no other reason than they were in Sochi, were - overall - really very silly. But I have a soft spot in my heart for Russians, and not merely for the fact that, according to my stats, a significant percentage of visitors to my blog are from Russian porn sites. No, I love Russia because they have given the world:
- Nesting dolls;
- A reason for James Bond movies;
- Vodka; and
- Vladimir Putin.
I'm not kidding about Putin. Is this guy a hoot, or what? What other world leader has the coglioni to be photographed - naked to the waist - stalking tigers, equipped with nothing more than a humongous semiautomatic weapon? Certainly not Queen Elizabeth, David Cameron, Barak Obama, Angela Merkel, or Bill Clinton (well, maybe Bill Clinton at one time, but it would have been a buzz-kill). And Vladimir has not been loathe to publicly demonstrate his remarkable skills at judo, flying a fighter jet, hang gliding, scuba diving, and riding a giant (albeit three-wheeler) motorcycle.
Overcompensating? Hardly. And for what?* This bad-ass dude is not afraid to show his softer side, playing piano (sort of) and singing (sort of) "Blueberry Hill" (an interesting selection) at a charity event, bringing the likes of Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell (who?) to their feet in awe and admiration.
A worthy achievement. What is more endearing than a singing troglodyte? Give that man a cookie!
Russia has also given the world the Sochi Winter Olympics, and has actually managed to pull it off (sort of), in spite of such oddities as:
- A ban on yogurt;
- A display of quaint, provincial Russian homophobia (perhaps related to yogurt? not sure);
- Gazillions of stray dogs (all the rage in world-class resort cities);
- Signage in hotel bathrooms advising visitors (from other planets?) not to fish in the toilets; and
- A distinct lack of winter.
But who needs snow, when you can have an Opening Ceremony with the recurring theme of, "Something That Would Eat You in a Nightmare"?
I admit that I pretty much stopped watching the Sochi Olympics after being subjected to one-too-many (two) interviews with members of the U.S. Women's Figure Skating Team.
In the end, though, it is worth noting that, despite my man Vlad's fairly obvious aversion to "non-traditional" (for cossacks) displays of affection, the U.S. snow boarders clearly did not get the memo.
For the record, neither did Tchaikovsky.