Thursday, March 27, 2014

I Forgot

I am so sorry.

With all the crazy things going on in my life accelerating what I have come to accept as a predisposition to senility, it completely slipped my mind to make fun of the Sochi Olympics.

A serious oversight.  The Sochi Winter Olympics, if for no other reason than they were in Sochi, were  - overall - really very silly.  But I have a soft spot in my heart for Russians, and not merely for the fact that, according to my stats, a significant percentage of visitors to my blog are from Russian porn sites.  No, I love Russia because they have given the world:
  1. Tchaikovsky;
  2. Nesting dolls;
  3. A reason for James Bond movies;
  4. Vodka; and
  5. Vladimir Putin. 
I'm not kidding about Putin.  Is this guy a hoot, or what?  What other world leader has the coglioni to be photographed - naked to the waist - stalking tigers, equipped with nothing more than a humongous semiautomatic weapon?  Certainly not Queen Elizabeth, David Cameron, Barak Obama, Angela Merkel, or Bill Clinton (well, maybe Bill Clinton at one time, but it would have been a buzz-kill).  And Vladimir has not been loathe to publicly demonstrate his remarkable skills at judo, flying a fighter jet, hang gliding, scuba diving, and riding a giant (albeit three-wheeler) motorcycle.

Overcompensating?  Hardly.  And for what?*  This bad-ass dude is not afraid to show his softer side, playing piano (sort of) and singing (sort of) "Blueberry Hill" (an interesting selection) at a charity event, bringing the likes of Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell (who?) to their feet in awe and admiration.

A worthy achievement.  What is more endearing than a singing troglodyte?  Give that man a cookie!

Russia has also given the world the Sochi Winter Olympics, and has actually managed to pull it off (sort of), in spite of such oddities as:
  1. A ban on yogurt;
  2. A display of quaint, provincial Russian homophobia (perhaps related to yogurt?  not sure);
  3. Gazillions of stray dogs (all the rage in world-class resort cities);
  4. Signage in hotel bathrooms advising visitors (from other planets?) not to fish in the toilets; and
  5. A distinct lack of winter.
But who needs snow, when you can have an Opening Ceremony with the recurring theme of, "Something That Would Eat You in a Nightmare"?
I admit that I pretty much stopped watching the Sochi Olympics after being subjected to one-too-many (two) interviews with members of the U.S. Women's Figure Skating Team.
In the end, though, it is worth noting that, despite my man Vlad's fairly obvious aversion to "non-traditional" (for cossacks) displays of affection, the U.S. snow boarders clearly did not get the memo. 
For the record, neither did Tchaikovsky.

*Don't answer that!


PinkCheetahVintage said...

Thank goodness for vodka and Tchaikovsky!
I usually watch snowboarding, but somehow it all slipped by me this year x_x

Connie said...

You are so funny. I'm so glad you decided to make fun of Vlad and the Sochi Olympics because I was starting to take them very seriously. And as to your San Diego're on! Anytime! There is a paucity of Italian food around here. See how I used that SAT vocab word there?

Ines RdP said...

better if I stay in silent about this, I`m from Poland and.. sorry i don`t have nothing good to say about this... sorry

xoxo :*

Rosy said...

Reading your posts is a pleasure and fun guaranteed! I did not know that yogurt was banned in Russia ...

Fabrizia said...

Hilarious as usual!!!
Fabrizia – Cosa Mi Metto???

Martin said...

Vladi..yeah..what a man...did you ever thought about why he hast to sit in a jet or shirtless hunting that are closs to die out? Ha, I think he is gay! god did I said that...oh oh...Im sorry NSA, CIA and Russian Secret Service!

Before I miss to tell you: I wozld have love to answer * that question :D

Let´s go back to Tchaikovsky and lets just be honest: who cares about St..Sock..Sa...damn I even always forget how to write that ah I got it: Sochi ;)

Let´s proceed with the 2 most important facts you have mentioned: James Bond and Vodka!!

God after this fuc.. damn day I would love to join an ice cold Vodka and a good old James Bond movie (not those with this girly James Bond Daniel Craig :)

God, as you see, I have to stop writing, otherwise it will takes you an hour to read all these mixed up thougts!!! :)

xx from Germany :)

Ines RdP said...

ok, don`t worry :)

Aida said...

your posts are just too good, dearest Linda!
you always make me laugh so hard! great post!!!

a big hug babe!

Sacramento Amate said...

Hahhahahhahahha, you are soooooooooooooo brilliant.
Most of my visitors are also from Russia por pages, hahahahhahah
Love alwaysssssssssss

Aida said...

I Love You to the moon and back!!!

Connie said...

Linda! When I was a little kid my dad used to get The New Yorker and I, of course, only read the cartoons. That's when I first discovered Chas Addams and I've been rather warped ever since. Yes, PLEASE tell me about your obsession with him!!

Ines RdP said...